The Singing is the Best
Part
Yesterday I attended the Memorial Service for a former
student, Mark Herzog, EHS Class of 2011. I have attended far too many services
for students lost much too soon, but this one really hit me hard. Mark was,
simply put, one of the most impressive individuals I have ever known. His
friends and family spoke eloquently about his many passions. Having grown up in
Bristol, TN, he recently graduated from Harvard Medical School and was
embarking on a career of revolutionizing rural medicine. While an undergraduate
at Duke, he made his passion for the outdoors an integral part of his life. He was
a competitive triathlete and loved to hike and climb. He celebrated his
graduation from Duke by completing the John Muir Trail in California with a
friend. He also had a passion for people, and as many people attested at the
service, made whomever he was speaking with feel like the most important person
in the world. In between his graduation from Medical School and beginning on
his quest to change the world, Mark took a trip to experience the beauty of New
Zealand, where he fell to his death in a climbing accident.
Listening to the reflections at Mark’s memorial service, I
was struck by many things. It was clear that the 15-year-old Mark that I knew
was exactly the same person as the fully grown adult so many people spoke
about. Two moments during the service especially resonated with me, though.
Mark’s best friend since kindergarten, Brendan, spoke about how Mark never
wasted a minute, and told stories about how, when they were on a fishing trip,
Brendan needed to take a few minutes to rig up the fishing rods and get
everything ready, so Mark went for a run, or when they went to a restaurant for
dinner and Mark pulled out his textbook to study during the 10-minute wait for
a table. Mark’s brother John, told similar stories, but the way he phrased it
really struck me. He said that Mark hated to waste a minute and spent every
moment of his life actively doing something important to him, whether that was
climbing, reading a journal article, doing push-ups, or – this is what struck
me – spending focused time talking with a friend, or just being still. He hated
to waste a moment, so he was always focused on actively pursuing things that
were important to him, like “just being still.” That apparent contradiction
says so much about who he was, and who we all should try to be.
The other moment that really resonated with me was when
another favorite former student, Chelsea, spoke about her friendship with
Mark. She told a story about chapel at the school where I teach, when she was
assigned to sit in the balcony and Mark was assigned to sit on the main floor
near the front, where she had a good view of him. She noticed that, during the
hymns, he sang with extra energy and gusto. Having attended hundreds of high
school chapel services as a teacher, I can attest to the fact that singing the
hymns is definitely not considered cool. After chapel, Chelsea admitted
needling him a little bit about it, pointing out that he really seemed to sing
his heart out, which was especially surprising because he was not exactly a trained
singer. While most teenagers in that situation would be embarrassed and try to
deny it, Mark responded that Yeah – he loved the singing. THE SINGING IS THE
BEST PART. I know I’m paraphrasing Chelsea, who was paraphrasing Mark, but that
phrasing is how I will remember her reflection. That phrase struck me as
exactly the way I want to live my life.
For Mark, the singing was the best part, so he put all of
his energy and joy into it. When he was talking to a friend, or even a stranger,
learning about them was the best part, so he put all of his energy and joy into
that. When he was running, biking, swimming, climbing, working with a patient,
fighting to secure a grant to develop anti-suicide programs among native
peoples, or simply being still, exactly what he was doing at that moment was
the best part, and he put all of his energy and joy into it. Imagine a world where
we all did that. Don’t be afraid to express and share your joy. Take time to
focus on the people around you and make them feel like they are the most
important people in the world. Similarly, take time to actively focus on
yourselfyou’re your own needs. Actively seek out and appreciate the beauty of
the natural world. Work to be the best you can be at the things you love. Why?
Because The Singing is the Best Part.
