Just spent the evening watching Soul Surfer with my family. For those who don't remember, this is the true story of a 13-year-old girl who has her left arm bitten off by a shark while surfing in Hawaii. She goes on with her life and becomes a world-class competitive surfer again after the accident. I think watching this movie was far more difficult for me than for a lot of people, because I was sitting next to my own 13-year-old daughter while watching the movie, and it is impossible not to put her in Bethany Hamilton's place mentally while watching the movie.
The amazing thing about this story is the strength shown by Bethany (and her entire family). Of course she struggles, and I am sure that she struggled more in real life with the unfairness of her situation than in the movie, but she also kept finding the strength to go on with a positive outlook. I would be willing to bet that a lot of people who don't have teenage children, or don't have the privilege of working with teenagers as closely as I do, watch this movie and find the whole thing sickeningly Pollyanna and unrealistic, but it's just not. One of the reasons this movie was so hard to watch is that, when I picture my daughter in that situation, I see her doing exactly what Bethany does in the movie. She would accept her situation and make the best of it. She would probably enjoy the embarrassment of all the people who are not sure how to handle her more than Bethany did, but Layne get's that evil streak from me, so I understand. :) In fact, MOST of the teenagers I work with would be able to find the positive side and come out of this tragedy with their spirits intact. I'm not sure I could say the same about the adults I know, and I am confident that I could not say it about myself. Teenagers are in a constant state of flux - everything about them changes every day. They are so resilient and ready for the changes in a way that we adults are not. Why is this?
I think it is all about control - or at least perceived control. Teenagers are at a point in their lives where they want to take control of themselves, but really they have very little of it. They are still accustomed to not being in control and can weather the storms when everything seems to be chaos. When they come out of that chaos with a positive attitude, as Bethany does in the movie, that is their way of taking control. They can't control the circumstances, so they control the only thing they can - their attitude. (That same sentence applies to the many times that teenagers have a horrid attitude!) As adults, we have gotten used to having control over the circumstances of our lives more. Because of that, we are not as able to handle the unexpected chaos the way teenagers can. We have established our comfort zones and erected walls around them so high that, when we are tossed out of those comfort zones, we can't even see them anymore and land in the panic zone rather than the challenge zone. Teenagers have not had the luxury of building those comfort zones yet, or at least they haven't been able to fortify them as well, so when they get tossed out of them, they have a huge challenge zone to land in rather than falling into the panic zone. As a teacher, it is my job to push teenagers into that challenge zone, and I push harder and harder every year. For the first time this year I pushed a few into the true panic zone, and I will have to learn to tread that boundary carefully, but the closer I can get without crossing over, the better teacher I will be. Nothing is more exciting than watching teenagers overcome challenges, and I sometimes find it hard to believe that anybody is willing to do any job other than teaching. Teenagers rock, and I am lucky to live a life where I get to see them do that on a daily basis!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Motivational Quotes
Today I got a package in the mail - my RoadID that I ordered last week. For those who don't know, this is a bracelet to wear while running or biking that has information that might be important to medical personnel if something unthinkable happens to me. (If it's not unthinkable to you, then stop reading this and go away!) The toughest part of ordering the RoadID was figuring out what to put on the last two lines - generally used for something motivational. Thinking about what I need to tell myself more often than anything else, I went with, "Yesterday, you said tomorrow!"
That got me thinking and wondering - what would you put there? If you had only two short lines to write the one thing that will motivate you most, what would it be?
That got me thinking and wondering - what would you put there? If you had only two short lines to write the one thing that will motivate you most, what would it be?
Friday, August 5, 2011
Why race?
Tomorrow I am going to spend half the day standing in line a packet pickup and then attending a newcomers' orientation and bike inspection as I prepare for my first Duathlon on Sunday. This brings to mind the simple question - why race?
I wish I could say that it is because I have a chance to win, but that will never be the case. The most common answer for racers like me probably involves a discussion of competing against oneself to try and always improve upon the last race. Unfortunately I don't really care much about that either. So why do I race? For me the answer is simple and obvious - racing is FUN and MOTIVATING! Those of us at the back of the pack have so much more fun than the ones with a chance of winning an award. We chat and bond and have fun. A few years ago, I ran most of a race with a man in a tux and a woman in a bridal gown. They stopped around mile 5 of the 10K and got married. That was awesome! This past July, I ran behind the entire cast of the Wizard of Oz for a little while. They were passing out cards urging kids to stay in school. What a great experience! This spring I ran my first marathon. While I am ridiculously proud of having accomplished that, the bonding and chatting with other runners really is the reason why I did it (and will do it again).
So on Sunday I am doing my first Duathlon. A 2-mile run, then a 26-mile bike ride, and finishing with a 4-mile run. I am confident that I will have no trouble finishing. I am also confident that I will have no shot of winning any kind of award. Why am I doing it? Because it is going to be loads of fun, and I hope to meet some awesome people along the way! Then those bonds will pump me up to start preparing for my next challenge - my first Century ride in September! FUN and MOTIVATION - that's why I run, and come to think of it, that's why I teach as well!
I wish I could say that it is because I have a chance to win, but that will never be the case. The most common answer for racers like me probably involves a discussion of competing against oneself to try and always improve upon the last race. Unfortunately I don't really care much about that either. So why do I race? For me the answer is simple and obvious - racing is FUN and MOTIVATING! Those of us at the back of the pack have so much more fun than the ones with a chance of winning an award. We chat and bond and have fun. A few years ago, I ran most of a race with a man in a tux and a woman in a bridal gown. They stopped around mile 5 of the 10K and got married. That was awesome! This past July, I ran behind the entire cast of the Wizard of Oz for a little while. They were passing out cards urging kids to stay in school. What a great experience! This spring I ran my first marathon. While I am ridiculously proud of having accomplished that, the bonding and chatting with other runners really is the reason why I did it (and will do it again).
So on Sunday I am doing my first Duathlon. A 2-mile run, then a 26-mile bike ride, and finishing with a 4-mile run. I am confident that I will have no trouble finishing. I am also confident that I will have no shot of winning any kind of award. Why am I doing it? Because it is going to be loads of fun, and I hope to meet some awesome people along the way! Then those bonds will pump me up to start preparing for my next challenge - my first Century ride in September! FUN and MOTIVATION - that's why I run, and come to think of it, that's why I teach as well!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Mirrors
My latest Facebook status is a quote from Seth Godin's blog. (You should check it out - he's got some very thought-provoking things to say: http://sethgodin.typepad.com) It goes something like this:
"There are more mirrors available than ever. Sometimes, though, what's missing is the willingness to take a look."
Here's my take on it. We live in a world with potentially endless instant feedback. It's up to us to decide to make that a good thing. This is definitely an area with which I struggle. I've spent too much of my life happy with "good enough", and although I recognize that I need to work on that, it still is very hard for me to seek, or even just accept, honest constructive criticism. As a teacher, I have the luxury that a lot of my feedback comes from teenagers, so it is easy to discount the parts I don't like. I can always say that they don't understand, or that they are just angry that I'm going the "tough love" route.
When I was a Department Chair (a position I stepped down from this year, which resulted in my best teaching year in a decade!) I worked with several teachers who approached the mirrors their students held up to them from the opposite direction. 70 students would have very positive things to say in their teacher evaluations and 5 would be extremely negative (commonly called the "class assassins"). Those teachers would completely discount the 70 and focus only on the 5. Obviously that is not a healthy approach either.
Watching my wife's career as a research scientist, it is easy for me to realize that I would never survive in that profession. Without brutally honest critique and questioning, science cannot progress reliably. When a scientist presents her research at an academic conference, she has to be prepared for a relentless attack. If I were in that position, I would shrivel under the pressure. A successful scientist has to realize that the only goal that matters is uncovering scientific truth, and that without that kind of questioning, we will never find that truth. When my wife writes a paper to submit for publication, she seeks out the most brutal reviewers she can find to help her edit her work before submission. Because of that, she has a very high acceptance rate at some of the most respected journals in her field. Criticism just makes her work better, so she seeks it out, where I tend to shy away from it.
What is the difference between those of us who can look ourselves straight in the eye in all the various mirrors available to us and those of us who look the other way as we sneak past? How do you find the courage to really stop and take an honest look? I hope that, as long as I'm asking that question, there's still hope for me!
"There are more mirrors available than ever. Sometimes, though, what's missing is the willingness to take a look."
Here's my take on it. We live in a world with potentially endless instant feedback. It's up to us to decide to make that a good thing. This is definitely an area with which I struggle. I've spent too much of my life happy with "good enough", and although I recognize that I need to work on that, it still is very hard for me to seek, or even just accept, honest constructive criticism. As a teacher, I have the luxury that a lot of my feedback comes from teenagers, so it is easy to discount the parts I don't like. I can always say that they don't understand, or that they are just angry that I'm going the "tough love" route.
When I was a Department Chair (a position I stepped down from this year, which resulted in my best teaching year in a decade!) I worked with several teachers who approached the mirrors their students held up to them from the opposite direction. 70 students would have very positive things to say in their teacher evaluations and 5 would be extremely negative (commonly called the "class assassins"). Those teachers would completely discount the 70 and focus only on the 5. Obviously that is not a healthy approach either.
Watching my wife's career as a research scientist, it is easy for me to realize that I would never survive in that profession. Without brutally honest critique and questioning, science cannot progress reliably. When a scientist presents her research at an academic conference, she has to be prepared for a relentless attack. If I were in that position, I would shrivel under the pressure. A successful scientist has to realize that the only goal that matters is uncovering scientific truth, and that without that kind of questioning, we will never find that truth. When my wife writes a paper to submit for publication, she seeks out the most brutal reviewers she can find to help her edit her work before submission. Because of that, she has a very high acceptance rate at some of the most respected journals in her field. Criticism just makes her work better, so she seeks it out, where I tend to shy away from it.
What is the difference between those of us who can look ourselves straight in the eye in all the various mirrors available to us and those of us who look the other way as we sneak past? How do you find the courage to really stop and take an honest look? I hope that, as long as I'm asking that question, there's still hope for me!
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