Teenagers Rock!

Just spent the evening watching Soul Surfer with my family. For those who don't remember, this is the true story of a 13-year-old girl who has her left arm bitten off by a shark while surfing in Hawaii. She goes on with her life and becomes a world-class competitive surfer again after the accident. I think watching this movie was far more difficult for me than for a lot of people, because I was sitting next to my own 13-year-old daughter while watching the movie, and it is impossible not to put her in Bethany Hamilton's place mentally while watching the movie.

The amazing thing about this story is the strength shown by Bethany (and her entire family). Of course she struggles, and I am sure that she struggled more in real life with the unfairness of her situation than in the movie, but she also kept finding the strength to go on with a positive outlook. I would be willing to bet that a lot of people who don't have teenage children, or don't have the privilege of working with teenagers as closely as I do, watch this movie and find the whole thing sickeningly Pollyanna and unrealistic, but it's just not. One of the reasons this movie was so hard to watch is that, when I picture my daughter in that situation, I see her doing exactly what Bethany does in the movie. She would accept her situation and make the best of it. She would probably enjoy the embarrassment of all the people who are not sure how to handle her more than Bethany did, but Layne get's that evil streak from me, so I understand. :) In fact, MOST of the teenagers I work with would be able to find the positive side and come out of this tragedy with their spirits intact. I'm not sure I could say the same about the adults I know, and I am confident that I could not say it about myself. Teenagers are in a constant state of flux - everything about them changes every day. They are so resilient and ready for the changes in a way that we adults are not. Why is this?

I think it is all about control - or at least perceived control. Teenagers are at a point in their lives where they want to take control of themselves, but really they have very little of it. They are still accustomed to not being in control and can weather the storms when everything seems to be chaos. When they come out of that chaos with a positive attitude, as Bethany does in the movie, that is their way of taking control. They can't control the circumstances, so they control the only thing they can - their attitude. (That same sentence applies to the many times that teenagers have a horrid attitude!) As adults, we have gotten used to having control over the circumstances of our lives more. Because of that, we are not as able to handle the unexpected chaos the way teenagers can. We have established our comfort zones and erected walls around them so high that, when we are tossed out of those comfort zones, we can't even see them anymore and land in the panic zone rather than the challenge zone. Teenagers have not had the luxury of building those comfort zones yet, or at least they haven't been able to fortify them as well, so when they get tossed out of them, they have a huge challenge zone to land in rather than falling into the panic zone. As a teacher, it is my job to push teenagers into that challenge zone, and I push harder and harder every year. For the first time this year I pushed a few into the true panic zone, and I will have to learn to tread that boundary carefully, but the closer I can get without crossing over, the better teacher I will be. Nothing is more exciting than watching teenagers overcome challenges, and I sometimes find it hard to believe that anybody is willing to do any job other than teaching. Teenagers rock, and I am lucky to live a life where I get to see them do that on a daily basis!