Friday, January 13, 2012

Carpe Diem

It's been a long time since I wrote my last blog entry. Maybe that's why I only have two followers. :) I only write when I'm inspired by something and today I was inspired. I teach in a private, church-affiliated school, and our Friday chapel service is completely student-run each week. It's definitely the highlight of the chapel week. Today, one of my students spoke and although she didn't reveal the key fact until halfway through her talk, I knew from the beginning because I teach her. She spoke about going home from boarding school for Christmas break and getting together with her friends from her old K-8 school. They planned a reunion of a big group of friends and at the last minute realized they had not invited one girl they had known. They decided that, although they liked her and were friends with her, she would make the reunion awkward if she were there. (Admit it, you can think of exactly the person in your past who fits that description.) In the end, they decided not to invite her, because they could always invite her to a Spring Break reunion later. Two weeks later, they got the news that the girl they had not invited had died in a car accident. There would be no opportunity for a Spring Break reunion.

There are so many ways you could go emotionally in that situation, especially as a teenager - some of the most emotionally tumultuous years of life. I can say from experience that I would not react well. Listening to this student speak today, I was drawn back to the late 80s, when I was a teenager in high school. Throughout my youth, my best friends were my friends in the church youth group, even though I did not go to school with any of them. We had a very tight group that had been close friends since earliest memories, despite the fact that our ages ranged across several years. I was one of the younger ones in the group, so I was still in high school when many had gone off to college. Although we didn't stay in touch as well as we should have, there was still a tight connection. I still have vivid memories of the day I learned that one of our group had been killed in a car accident. She was already in college and was coming back from a service trip when the driver of the car fell asleep. I had attended a number of funerals by that point in my life, but this was the first time I had mourned somebody around my own age who had been a friend of mine.

The student who spoke today took such a mature and optimistic approach to the tragedy. (This seems like a good moment to throw out my mantra - TEENAGERS ARE AWESOME!) She spoke about taking advantage of the opportunities we have every day to enjoy life and to touch the lives of those around us. She put off inviting her old friend to the reunion and permanently missed the chance to do so. Rather than dwelling on that missed opportunity, she has used this tragedy to motivate herself and others not to miss those chances in the future. Every single day, we need to recognize, appreciate, and act on all the opportunities we have. Life is truly awesome and we waste so much of it being negative or apathetic. Even if we live to be 100 years old, we still have so many opportunities to fill that life with awesomeness that we pass up for no particular reason. The speaker today encouraged all of us to take advantage of those opportunities and to appreciate even the little things that we get to experience and enjoy every day.

I'm sure the similarities between today's chapel speaker and my own high school experience are pretty clear, but there's more. I attended my friend's funeral in high school, at the church where we had all spent so many happy hours together. While most funerals have one or two speakers who deliver a message about the deceased's life, this funeral was different, and far more meaningful and moving. Instead of a speaker, they played a recording over the church's sound system. Less than a year before, my friend had delivered the message at the funeral of a friend of hers. She spoke about the fact that this tragedy made her realize that every day could be the last. She resolved never to miss an opportunity to let the people around her know how much they meant to her or to make a difference in other people's lives, because every interaction she has with somebody could be her last. Most importantly, she followed through on that resolution. After that day, her life was a mission to make things better for those around her. Less than a year later, her time came, and she was the speaker at her own funeral.

Today's chapel speech reminded me of that day, 20 years ago. While there is no other way to describe the accidental death of a teenager in a car wreck other than as a tragedy, this student has found the meaning behind the tragedy. What a gift to realize at the age of 18 how awesome life is and how many opportunities we have to reach out to those around us! I get wrapped up in my own issues and stresses and lose track of the amazing privileges I have and the wonderful people who surround me every day. Today Tyler reminded me of Carrie, and of how lucky I am, and I really needed that. In January people tend to focus on what is wrong with their lives. New Year's Resolutions are all about fixing things. When you think about it, though, so much is right in our lives. If you are still looking for a New Year's Resolution, how about resolving to appreciate all the awesome little moments and people you encounter every day? Maybe if we all resolve to do that, we won't need tragedies to remind us of how great we have it.

In case I haven't said it enough yet - TEENAGERS ARE AWESOME - and I get to learn from them every single day!

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